Worlds Collide

"Let's have gooey duck." I look over at the tank overflowing with what looks like donkey schlongs, "Eh, I don't think I know how to cook that," I reply. "You promised you'd make it for me," he pouts. I counter,"It's so phallic; maybe if you get it and cut it up I will be able to make it." This, for some reason brings on a fit of giggles from my boyfriend Adam (I am guessing because I used the word "phallic"), "ok, ok - What do you want for dinner?"

Right then I might as well have slapped myself in the face with a penis-shaped mollusk, "Fettuccine with Clam Sauce?" There is a huge tank of clams in front of me, which is probably where I got the idea. The problem, however, is that we are in a crowded Chinese grocery store - and all of a sudden my heart is set on the Italian dish my mom makes. The fish-section stench of the grocery store hits me, and I realize that is not what we are going to have. Adam insists we use "fresh" clams which, despite their label, are freezing cold and hard as rocks but I acquiesce because I have been promising him for years that I would make gooey duck, and have yet to do so. So I decide to do an Oriental fettuccine with clam sauce - ramen noodles instead of fettuccine, add in some bok choy, and seafood broth instead of clam juice (which I couldn't find in the store). I am pretty sure that the white wine I am planning to use has turned to vinegar by now, but I'll make due. We'll see how it turns out...

Never ever, ever, ever use quasi-frozen clams - even if they do say fresh on them - they had a milky, kind of snotty taste to them. On the flip side, if I picked all of those out, the rest was pretty taste. The fresh pasta was a hit, and the straw mushrooms really balanced out the strong flavor of the clams. I also added red chile pepper flakes that gave it a nice kick. Served it with garlic stir-fried baby bok choy. Adam was happy - hopefully, he forgot about the gooey duck.

Ramen with Clam Sauce
- 1 package fresh ramen (available at Chinese grocery stores)
- 2 Tablespoons olive oil
- Fresh clams (let's just say a bunch), rinsed and scrubbed to get the sand and other dubious things off
- four garlic cloves, coarsely chopped
- two cans of clams
- 1 can straw mushrooms (optional)
- 2-3 cups clam juice or seafood broth
- 1 tablespoon red pepper flakes (less or more, to taste)
- 1/4 cup dry white wine
- Water for pasta
- salt

- Put salt and water in pot to boil
- Heat oil in large sauce pan
- Add garlic and red pepper flakes to oil, cook until it softens
- Add both cans of clams, do not drain.
- Add straw mushrooms (drain juice from can)
- Add clam juice or broth. Bring to boil.
- Once clam sauce is boiling add fresh clams. Clams are fully cooked when they are all opened. (Do not force open those that do not open after five minutes or so - those are food poisoning in a shell)
-Add fresh pasta to boiling salt water, cook according to package instructions.
- Add drained pasta to clam sauce, or mix together in a big bowl
- Enjoy!

xoxo, Hil